Tomorrow's dreams

Friday, April 30, 2010

you hold the decision
&
i got the final say for down the road.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Don't, don't break the time.

on the verge.

i am tired out from work.
i am grouchy
i am mad hungry with gastric resulted
i am fed up with doing piles of invoices currently
i am tired from squeezing train everyday and night
surprisingly,
the most tiring part was my mind & heart.
I miss you
I am sooooo sick of routines.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Broken knees and a very harsh fact i am crying not because of the blood
but because of my heart .

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

we never was

I never felt such unbearable pain before.
I never thought that i would fall for emptytalks more than 10times.
I never expect tears could be so crocodile
I never hit that even the most memorable moments are just moments.
I never ever imagined that despite how perfect it was, nothing could be done.
It was only a simple love i asked for, nth else..
It just come to one thing;
You can never bring back anything.
Cherish her. Don't lose her again.

Let me do it for you.
Someone got to shoulder all &

this will be the last time i will be this just for your happiness.
I regretted.. so badly that i was in love with someone who couldnt give me any single efforts.

I knew all along, how the game was. I let you rule them, at least you bothered to.
I was just a rebound. Someone shouldnt even step into your life and create unnecessary problems for both of you.

I am not happy, i never was.

Leave.. & be good.

Bouts of nostalgia only bring your heart back for that moment and til the very next day,
'snap' and you're back to square one. You'll never learn.

However, you don't need to anymore.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

You can't do anything besides talking, then leave me alone.

i want to forget every single thing that happened.

day 1 to now. every single memories even your expression.

no more lingerings.

i don't wanna recall any,

not even abit,

not even any passerby that takes a second look.

i love you, and i won't want to starting from this minute

you know what you had done. never will this change.

since i can't even be any hesitation to keep you back

then stop.

i am so exhausted that i hope i can stop breathing immediately.

get lost everyone. leave me alone.

i hate you lying, i hate our everything even more.

Innocent.love.desperate.paranoid.salvaging.hanging.struggling.disheartend.hatred.tears.exhausted
not even a second look- the last final stage to come by.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

LANJIAO

Similiar scripts, exchanging of roles.
You must be using your dick to think or rather a watermelon head.
I love my fcuking life without heavy burdens of heart.
I even love my fcuking life without my trusted one lying constantly.
If you think it's a thrill game to test market, go ahead yourself.
I feel like crying out hard & scream my lungs out I'VE SEEN IT.
I don't need shit. :)

fcuk love.
i love monday to resort world.
i love my life without heavy burdens of heart.
i love being myself.
i love being like-a-princess still.
i love you for taking the triumph card but i have the last say.

I just lost someone i believed dearly and never will the trust be back.
Awesome. Well, life's a heartache.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Parkway to the doc with cousin. Food poisoning is taking my half life away.
Beyond imagination torment since ytd night.

Used to be one my fav song & i've been repeating over and over again..
Those mutual good times.. However..

I am the only Winnie Lim in this entire world.
Nobody can be a replica of me.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Thanks to the email;
Life couldn't be better without burdens.
Life is great without heartache.
Life is even better without disappointment.
You know whats going on exactly.

Mon to RW!! woo~ love samantha tay.

Lame

Just for your fcuking info, this is my fcuking blog. NOBODY ask you to fcuking come and read my entries. Why are you even doing so? Threatened by my presence?

hahaha. childish email. Uberly ultimate joke of the year to read that.
You can jolly well take back things that i don't want anymore :)

Ps: i am least interested. Dont bother telling me shit.
KGT, dont step on my tail, you will fcuking get it from me.
Well, on a lighter note, i am lazy to bother.
Ugly is already a inevitable fact, STUPID somemore. Sigh.
Watch what you're saying, because it's making me laugh.

my biggest regret is to fcuking believe you.
get lost lah bitch. dont need to try, you'll never get it.
This isn't any taiwan drama. Dont waste my time leh.
Do you even think i am eager to play games with you? zzzz.
THINK AGAIN.

Fcuk off :) I repeat, this is my blog. And this is the las time i wil be wasting my effort is typing this in MY BLOG. RETARDED SIAL.

In the very first place, you ain't in my world, you don't belong to.
esp KGT. hahahaha. now i know ugly people do such things to tk attn. Relax leh.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Good old days

Making love out of nothing at all.

For the very first time in my life, it was you that my heart melted into the ground - I thought I found something true.
Everyone’s looking round, thinking I’m deranged.
But I didn't care what they say, I’m in love with you.
They tried to pull me away, but I believed our indescribable bond.

Today, I'm here crying, on the verge of our everything, doubting every single thing that happened, even your eyes.

what you know? you know peanuts.

How much I would exchange just to bring me back to those days, even if it's just for a day.
But i couldn't even get the 5mins. If you do take my words seriously.

Its hurting baby.. since sept 2009.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

If you think i will stay by your side and watch you in company of another
THEN YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG.
YOU LOST YOUR SENSE OF DIRECTION TO "HOME"
ISN'T A NEED TO TURN BACK, CARRY ON.

Enough is enough

Spending too much time expecting way too much from a person who doesn't half understand what we would do for them.

We could just end this amicably but you just have to make things turn ugly.
All i asked for was just a fcuking 5mins.
Now you'll never know the truth & thankyou for letting me go thru this all ALONE again when it was supposed to be us handling this matter seriously.

I lost fcuking painful amount of blood,
but never comparable to what you gave my heart.

My biggest regret is to believe in you.
Get lost

Boiling point

No, I am not okay. I am exhausted. Life is exhausting. Loving people is exhausting. And thinking you’ve lost someone you love? Well, that’s the most exhausting thing of all.

"However, you can keep your self-claimed love to yourself now."

SICKKKKK.

all i asked was last 5mins

& you slip by your last chance to.

Monday, April 19, 2010

There isn't any reason to understand any situation.

You were back with her, thats a fact.

Now i know our everything even Japan cant even be compared,

not even a little hesitation to keep you back.

Sooner or later, you won't remember a single shit about me

even familiar scent.

Genuine comes from the heart.

and yours isn't with me

i fcuking hate you Winnie Lim

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Our last conver, tears & supper

Edited: 2:57am, Sun.
I am fcuking at home right now. I cannot believe i am really at home when im supposed to spend today's heartwrenching Saturday outside in whatever place that is cool with to get you of out my head. Well, i guess im not running away from this inevitable fact you're enjoying and probably in arms with her right now. C'mon, what can be more painful now. Come get me, carry on.

i cannot sleep sia. my menstration cramp is very terrible. chao cheebye <- thats very crude. haha dont mind me. knn bye i need to smoke my life away, temporary . i was stil hoping the very least you could do was to talk to me before you offically leave.. but i know this day wouldn't come. you are gone for good, with her. (i am badly in pain now & how's was the celebration? :) Ended, 3.09am

I really love this jap trip. i didnt realized i could smiled so beautfully. Know why? because of someone right next to me.

You forgotten this is how you used to assure me.

Wednesday;
with all your promises, words, arms around me and we burst out crying. it was only 3days ago and now you're at it, again. Nobody understands. I couldn't explain our magical bond, deep down i know it was real, how painful it was to be separated and torturing it gets to see us fading away with time.

But now, i am doubting every single thing, even your tears. You couldn't even fulfilled your promise to me, it was sucha simple one. What more can i ask for? I don't have a right to comment, im not whoever. Still, thanks for putting up the show that very night. At least for that few hours i don't feel the agony. A pity you didn't acknowledge my words once again, i got nothing else to say after 6 months of persisting. You'll never be able to do it, for me.

How many times i've been in this vicious cycle. How many times i choose to believe you. How many times you broke my heart and cheated my entire-being? Why do i still choose to see you in the end? Just because i love you, a very simple 'i love you'. And just because of this, you made use of me. I wanted to, but i can't.

I am certain i wouldn't do this to you, someone i loved dearly.
I am sorry for myself, sorry for landing up this way despite knowing your trueself.
I don't deserve any of these. One day, when you're all alone, ask yourself, who is the first one that came to your mind. I'll be happy if your ans will be me, but im sorry, it'll be all too late.

Ps: thanks for the last night of supper. i've been longing to sit down for a meal with you. and, i wont forget all our silly actions when we're tgt. like when we threw our cigg against those bikes below my block. i smiled.

Do it for me, don't promise me anything anymore.
Im just a ordinary girl. Dont play my heart. Please.

(jfyi, my heart is crushing badly knowing you'll be tgt with her 21st tgt with yr friends tonight wheareas i will be somewhere crying my heart out hating you but i stil want you to be happy. this is how ironic.) i know you won't bother me anymore..

想听的话

想听的话

慢慢把车窗摇下
你在转角处等她
难过像打翻的茶
浑开一整片对你的牵挂
这场爱不会开花
我清楚却割舍不下
明知你爱的是他
却还是学不会摆脱这挣扎
想听的话你说给了她
我的快乐从此蒸发
如果痛是爱的代价
那伤心
像沙该怎么画
想听的话得不到回答
我却还在独自装傻
雨打湿我的脸颊后
让你看不见
我眼角的变化
这场爱不会开花
我清楚却割舍不下
明知你爱的是他
却还是学不会摆脱这挣扎
想听的话你说给了她
我的快乐从此蒸发
如果痛是爱的代价
那伤心
像沙该怎么画
想听的话得不到回答
我却还在独自装傻
雨打湿我的脸颊后
让你看不见
我眼角的变化
这场爱不会开花
我清楚却割舍不下
明知你爱的是他
你的笑始终舍不得擦..

Just because i loved you simply too much, more than anything else, you used my heart again and again. Time and time again i gave in to you all because I FCUKING LOVE YOU. I trusted you, 2days ago. And this time round you PROVED me.

Happy spending her 21st birthday. I told you i fcuking know everything. Dont take me as a fool, i am no longer one for you starting from this minute.

You have your ways to explain things that lessens my heartache, even though you’re the author of my sadness. I always believed in you, but today u showed me how promises can be broken not only once. you literally left me broken and wounded today when im in despair. This is actually the least you can do, by listening to me. That is all i asked for. Things alr came til here & there is nth more i can do.

Crocodile tears.
Utter craps.
Do you know why your ring finger is your ring finger? Because a vein in that finger connects to the largest artery in your heart. A vein in the finger your wedding ring goes on connects directly to the heart. (There's wouldn't be any 6yrs contract, because it didn't exist in the very first place. I wouldn't be the one sharing your love, pain & joy anymore, much less wedding rings)

Fascination

If you still rememeber, this is how the way you cuddle me to sleep everytime..

RT: I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive your car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your mess-ed up room, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way when you think you’re always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Onced,

Me: why you like to put your hands inside my pj & hold me so tightly whenever we slp?

You: Because i wanna feel you.

I shouldn't be mentioning anything at all. You dont even give a god damn hoot now.

Love macroons

Do you still remember the first time we got this at town followed by Japan.

And, I stil haven eaten my piece of butter cake.

Well, i know all of these are nothing anymore :)

couldn't breathe

Nothing more i do will let him remember about me

only me.

i wrote this last for you

i know that you will never fully receive this note, but i wrote for every one that counts and you most definitely count. you truly are one of the most amazing things that ever happen to me. you're strong and smart and i believe in you that you can do anything. you truely did change my life. you showed me what it was to love. and i will always adore you for that. i love you russell tan. i hope that you can remember our fun conversations we had late at night when you would say just the right thing to make me smile so hard it hurt. all i want you to remember from me is this- hold on to your dreams, cause at one point, they are going to be all you have. fight for what you want baby and it will come to you. i have faith in you. i hope you find exactly what you are looking for in this life. think of me from time to time. i love you…

P.s: you forgotten what you've promised. you kept me waiting and never did you appeared saving me from my darkest period. I merely wanted to see you for the last. If you loved me genuinely, you wouldn't be doing this. I wouldn't do that to you, i rather suffer in your place. You can do anything, but just not for me.

"Our last night of conver in my bed", keep it, for me.

Goodbye, someone gotcha go.

i hope you'll be happy with your choice- thats her.

Im just a chapter.

...

You said we can be together when the time is ripe. I said I’d wait. Now I’m not to sure. And it’s not because I found someone else, it’s because I don’t want to be let down again. My heart broke everytime you picked her over me. And i just know. I really know.

5:55am; my weak state of consciousness i remembered, i safely enveloped in your arms. i don’t know where we were or how we ended up that way but we just lay there in comfortable silence- more than comfortable. the kind of silence that communicates more than our meager words ever could. and we just lay there together so warmly wrapped in this mesmerizing silence as if we had all of eternity to speak through little caresses and small sighs. as this recollection starts flooding back i lay down hoping that i may resume this illusion of being so safely with you. but the dawn is cruel and though i have closed my eyes in a feeble attempt to see you again, i instead see the faint light dripping. now you are lost; lost till i can once more close my eyes and drop away completely to feel the warmth of your embrace from so far a distance.

you were gone for good. you were never found in reality, even dreams.

Again

Slut

Happy fcuking 21st birthday

you got it.

and

you lost me

Friday, April 16, 2010

Entire-being

Roller Coaster emotions

The favourites

Steamboat with my girls ;) i miss zhenzhen & violet goh. where have you both gone to? lovebirds gone with their boyfriends and left us out!

oh i like this one. cassandra koh shall always be my part-time gf. HEEHEE.

bits and pieces building up my happiness :)

Daddy suddenly rang and brought up in getting me a new Nikon 5000. Boo-ha. I have too many items on hand. Too many things on my head as well but moolahs seemed to be decreasing. Wtf is this. Bff will be back from Bkk tomorrow which means 'fifa' hehehe.

Iphone; when will you be mine? My neck is getting longer (i am not daddy's princess anymore)

However, i will be getting a new pair of Coach shoes in awhile more. Winks ;)

Oh, i am waiting for a very important call and due date is next tuesday. Please please let me get it! :( Purrrleaseeeee. This is the first step in changing my current life.

I am

I believe in fate, but I believe in controlling my destiny even more.
You, more than skin deep.

爱我别走.

Tokyo

we were so perfect

a pity what's left lingering was bouts of regrets,

'perfect' couldn't keep us alive.

you know that i loved you, and i loved you enough.

but i know you'll find another.

hold the last night we said close to your heart.

i love you RT.

til now i stil believe in myself finding back the chemistry on someone else is impossible.

What happened, why on earth will we land up this way..

what is it that isn't strong enough to sustain this rs..

最熟系的陌生人; by then it's all too late,

too late.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Sickkk

Promises are really meant to be broken

Words are merely cheap talks.

on a lighter note, tonight's gonna be a racing night.

speed my head away. ilu brother.

Fall

I can't breathe easy

but i'll hold my very last breathe

for the day to come

the day will be

i watched you heading backwards to her,

"i trusted you"

AWESOME.

i miss japan.
i know you wouldn't care anymore.

im absolutely nothing

I love you. Don’t you understand? You’re the love of my life. I can’t leave you. But you’re constantly leaving. You walk away when you want, you come back when you want. You stand by everyone, but only me. if you don’t see a future for us, you’re not in this, please. tell me straight in my fcuking face and leave.

i am not a fcuking episode that ends abruptly and watch you BOTH getting back to continue your stories.

i am just a fcuking human-being.

please.

"you really shouldnt say -i love you- unless you mean it, even when you do, you should say it alot. People forget, like you."

Dear

When I think of you and me and what we shared, I know it would be easy for others to dismiss our time together as simply a by-product of the days and nights we spent, a “fling” that, in the long run, would mean absolutely nothing. Thats why I don’t tell people about us. They wouldn’t understand, and I don’t feel the need to explain, simply because I know in my heart how real it was… how real this is. When I think of you I cant help smiling, knowing that you’ve completed me somehow. I love you, not just for now, but for always, and I dream of the day that you’ll take me in your arms again”

“As we drifted apart, I was becoming more desperate to save what we once had shared; like a vicious circle, however...”

"With all your assurances, you completed me. With all your betrayals, you killed all of me."

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

you fcuking too know it wasn't fake.

time don't wait.

Venus Couture

VenusCouture Collection One is out on 8th April 2010, 8pm.
Visit the site now!
http://venuscouture.livejournal.com/
http://venuscouture.livejournal.com/

Ps: eh support hor. so i can be more of their models. steady ok. hahahaha.

will be launching exclusive designs after this batch.
stay tune.

Final

SICK AND TIRED.

2 more days to HK.

i dont want to be back.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Advertising

Venus Collection One will be launching soon :)

Help to support people, so i wil have more chances to be the model. hahaha. I cannot wait for collection 2. (jenny knows the reason well)4 more days back to HK!!
40 more mins to Ld4! Im not yet a gamer luh. haha

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Winter love

Goodbye.

Friday, April 2, 2010

I merely wanted to speak to you.

You won't get it again, after tonight.

Your choice.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

All your ugly lies.

i will fcuking slap you awake.

LANJIAO, totally